December 22, 2006

A Holiday Special to DressageDaily
By Father Mack
(a.k.a.: Father Larry David McCormick)

Members such as myself of that endangered species “the supportive spouses of equine enthusiasts” as well as the enthusiasts themselves know that most of us cannot lavish gifts upon our loved ones as we would like. Taa-Daa! Dressage Daily to the rescue!

The following are but a few humble suggestions of ways in which we may show our love to those who love us in return – and to their horses! Certainly we have missed some obvious gift ideas. Since there are at least a couple of days left between your reading these possibilities and the end of Chanukah/the observance of Christmas/the celebration of Kwanzaa, you still have time.

• Assuming that there is nary an equestrian household between here and Timbuktu that does not have video camera in its repertoire of basic equipment, it will cost you only the price of a new videotape (or two or three) and your own precious time to videotape your favorite rider during an upcoming lesson or at some future show. Pull an extra holiday card out of the package and create a coupon entitling the bearer to one custom videotape session. If you want to go an extra mile, find a local computer guru (nearby colleges and universities are likely suspects here) to transfer the video to a DVD complete with titles . . . Maybe even a soundtrack! An added bonus attached to this first suggestion is that your prized rider can sit down with her/his coach or trainer and review the tape to glean even more insights from the lesson or the competition
• Okay, you think your time is too valuable to spend it standing around (especially in the cold, unless you and your significant other are going to Wellington for the winter season) rotating a video camera on its tripod. Try this on for size, lazy bones: Pull your digital camera off the shelf, trundle on over to the barn, and shoot a couple of dozen snaps of your pet horseman/horsewoman engaged in that preferred pastime. No, don’t simply zip the resulting photos off to a digital printing service (although a new mini-album of beloved horse and rider is not to be sneezed at). Instead, brush up on your computer skills and produce a batch of personalized greeting cards. Here is a humble example. If you don’t fancy learning how to create such cards using your computer and printer at home (or you fear that this is but one foot on the slippery slope that will find you customizing cards for Valentine’s Day, Halloween, et cetera), you may elect to send the photo your darling selects to an online service and let them perform the derring-do of creating the card. Color photos can chew through the cartridges on color printers at a fair clip, so you want to consider the economics of printing the cards at home.
• Magnetic media or papercraft not your cup of tea? Looking for a present that is a little more “hands on”? How about a massage? You can’t get much more hands on than that! Here, again, you can go the personalized (read “cheaper”) route /or/ you can opt to let the professionals deliver the goods. If you select the former, then once again you can whip up a home-baked gift certificate using a convenient greeting card which you may customize with graphic details of the sensory delights your ten dancing digits can provide. In the latter case, there is probably a spa or health center between the barn and your dwelling. Stop in or ring them up and ask about gift certificates and what sort of services they provide.
• A variation upon number 3 (but without the home-brewed aspect) is a gift certificate for chiropractic services. This time you may choose to expand the benefice beyond your sweetheart and include their much-loved partner (try not to get your feelings hurt), the horse. If your usual veterinary clinic does not have a chiropractor on its staff, ask some of the barn buddies if they have a recommendation. When the certificate is finally used (after a brutal week in the training ring or before an upcoming show) you and your gift-giving prowess will be fondly remembered.
• This last idea requires the expenditure of a few pesos. But not all that many! You don’t have to spend very long around riders nor their coaches – especially when the weather is cold and damp – before you notice how raspy their voices sound. Yes, the trainers bear the brunt of the wear and tear as they must be heard above the din of the arena (particularly true when more than one lesson is in progress), but our sweethearts on horseback are expending a fair bit of energy replying to queries that are thrown their way. My best source for information about all things electronic (he is the head of computing services at Columbia University, if that instills confidence in you) swears that the Motorola “Family Radio” (FRS) two-way devices won’t drain your bank account and will more than get the job done. Of course, unless your honey has the skill set of Robert Dover and always rides down the centerline holding the reins in one hand, you will want to spring for hands-free, voice–activated (VOX) headsets for both the rider and the coach.

Before you write off this last proposition as less-than-cost-effective consider this: You have here an opportunity to be a hero not only to your own sweetie and to her/his coach (a person who probably ranks within millimeters of you on the “scale of belovedness”), but you could also become the savior of lots of other befuddled would-be gift givers. Check out the price of an appropriate set of hands-free, two-way radios with VOX headsets, see how many other husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends (perhaps even the occasional barn dog or cat who loves the riders!) want to pitch in from their scant discretionary funds, and, PRESTO!, you have yourselves a much appreciated present that the entire barn community will treasure.

We here at Dressage Daily have done our bit to make your holiday at least a bit less stress filled. Let us hear your suggestions either for great gifts you are giving this year or ones you have bestowed on past occasions. We will love to hear from you and we will pass along your best ideas for the greater good of horse, rider, and those who love them. In this way we may have the most glorious season of light!

To reach Father Mack (he would love to hear from you): frmac@columbia.edu